I'm Searching for my Mainline: March 2010

Friday, March 26, 2010

Being raised by two doctors, my views of the human body had no choice but to be strongly influenced. At an early age I asked my mother if she had ever had to stick her fingers in her patients "lower orifices", to my third-grader mind's disgust she answered yes. At that point I thought my parents respectable professions deemed them perverts, touching strangers bodies in what I viewed as very intimate ways. However, my mother explained herself as follows:
Caitlin, a doctor working with people's private parts is like a mechanic working under the hood of a car....and there's nothing particularly disgusting or sexy about the under side of a car. It's all machinery, there is a way things work and a way they don't, our job is to ensure everything is functioning properly.

To think of our bodies as one of the amazing machines that has ever existed is how I choose to view it. The vagina and reproductive system as whole is just one of incredible systems within that machine, especially in its capability to affected by others -orgasms and pregnancy.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Caitlin

Jenna

I have made the conscious decision not to utilize my ability to reproduce at this point in my life. I think that my sexuality is personal, but I would characterize it as somewhat cautions and certainly educated. I do not choose to have sexual relationships without being safe. I have no desire to use my reproductive organs at this time.

The image I chose to fill that space is a tabernacle. I grew up with Roman Catholicism at the center of my life. I attended Catholic schools and went to church twice every week. The tabernacle in the Catholic Church is where the Eucharist is kept. It is a holy container, often ornate and treated with utmost respect. It is a bit intimidating, but sacred. I think this reflects my feelings about my reproductive space. It has been reinforced through religion that sexuality is serious and should not be used without serious consideration. While this has hindered me in some ways in terms of my sexual growth, it has made me smart about sex. I have educated myself enough so that I feel comfortable with my sexuality at this point. While there is a certain intimidating effect of the Church (represented by the tabernacle) that made me scared of sex for a long time, I have grown to appreciate this respect for my own sexuality that was reinforced in a strange way.